Gustav Mahler: You are the biggest drama queen but insist you don’t like drama.
Frederic Chopin: You believe in love, but not being in love, and you play the ukulele.
Ludwig van Beethoven: You probably have deep-seated anger issues but also constructive ways of dealing with them.
George Gershwin: You have worn a culturally appropriative costume for Halloween, but you also probably regret it now.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: You have OPINIONS about online quizzes and “an order” at Starbucks that’s more than three words.
Edvard Grieg: You actually like winter you monster.
John Cage: You have a detailed profile on an alternative lifestyle social media site that you keep actively updated.
Kirby Shaw: You say that you do play an instrument, thank you, and that instrument is your voice.
JS Bach: No matter what your relationship status actually is, you have a compulsion to list it as “it’s complicated.”
Gustav Holst: You’re into science but not into math.
Richard Wagner: You either love role-playing games or you’re anti-semitic, or both.
Alexander Scriabin: You like proto-punk better than punk and you’ve learned to live with the disappointment.
Giacomo Puccini: You take like four goddamn hours to eat dinner.
Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach: You have father issues but no real reason to have them.
Stephen Sondheim: You describe yourself as a sapiosexual but refuse to define what that means.
Antonio Vivaldi: You were forced to play violin as a child, and you wrap your Christmas presents obsessively.
Sergei Rachmaninoff: You believe tea is superior to coffee and cats are superior to dogs, regardless of what you drink or own.
Astor Piazzolla: You set up fans to blow your hair when you take selfies, and you make food too spicy.
Giuseppe Verdi: You like documentaries about heinous crimes, and, one day, you hope to own a Vespa.
Pyotr Tchaikovsky: You enjoy horses and Christmas too earnestly.
Andrew Lloyd Webber: Roses are your go-to romantic flower.
Leonard Bernstein: For you, the skinny tie has never gone out of fashion.
Franz Liszt: You think that gloves are an appropriate part of formal attire, and you’re not afraid to use them.
Igor Stravinsky: You constantly play devil’s advocate in internet arguments.
Richard Strauss: You pointedly pronounce his name “ree-kard strauwwss.”
Antonin Dvorak: You like the idea of chess, but don’t actually play it.
Thomas Tallis: You have a Master’s degree you sometimes regret getting.
George Frideric Handel: You think that coordinated group dances are fun and have thought about getting a tattoo for a long time.
Aaron Copland: You’re weirdly patriotic but, like, in a scrappy way.